Things I am not allowed to do:

July 14, 2018 - Personal

1. Buy several billion glass marbles.
2. Otherwise manufacture or procure several billion glass marbles.
3. Try to convince allies to use several billion glass marbles in a plan to bypass Citadel Reinforcement Timers.
4. Hire station rats to follow me around with a wheelbarrow full of isk/ammunition/pornography while baselining.
5. Trade any high ranking allies to CVA/PIE.
6. No, not even for Slaver Hounds that knows cute tricks.
7. MGL does not stand for ‘machine gun launcher’ and even if it did I’m not allowed to have one underslung on my handgun.
8. Using enough explosives to take out any potential witnesses still does not count as subtle or covert.
9. “Plan B” is never “twice as much explosives as Plan A”.
10. I am not allowed to always skip straight to plan C “because Plan A or B never works.”
11. I am not allowed to insert loopholes in the Not-Allowed list, even if I hire a lawyer.
12. Paint Debbie’s favorite ship bright neon pink with glitter.
13. Loincloth and Oil is not formal attire.
14. Not allowed to bake cookies, ever again. Ever.
15. Trying to convince someone to stick it to the man, while giving the impression “it” is a physical object.
16. Remove all structural fasteners in order to “scientifically test the hypothesis Minmatar ships are held together by SleeperTech Chewing Gum, and Batfuck Insanity”.
17. Pointing out to the security officers that being unarmed would require literally disarming myself.
18. Threatening to summon the Angry Ferret Spirit.
19. Threatening to summon any spirit.
20. No, not even THAT one.
21. Hydraulic Jacks are not appropriate casual wear.
22. Contributing to any raid planning if I have watched a Fed Action Holovid within the last 48 hours.
23. Build a single vehicle out of six station hoverbikes and arm them with cruiser weaponry.
24. Ignore any previous or following rules by claiming to have contracted a “case of the anarchies”.
25. Convincing anyone that particular pornography and live shows are ‘martial arts demonstrations’ or specializations.
26. Mutter “Disco will never die.” menacingly before bringing firearms onto the dancefloor.
27. Communicate entirely in cheesy one-liners from Holoflicks.
28. Try to include “Stripper Pole” in all of Jinari’s ship blueprints.
29. Convince new allies that I had a tragic upbringing as Jamyl’s toilet seat warmer.
30. Pretend to read “How to Undock for Dummies” while biting my tongue near new crewmembers.
31. Resume any cancelled research on using Capital Artillery Cannons for Fighter Deployment.
32. I must stop sending guncam footage of Armageddons rubbing against Stargates to Samira Kernher.

List will be continuously expanded whenever necessary.